Good luck Andy

Good luck Andy. I think that you are very brave to keep going.

Well, I'm not very optimistic about how things will go on this new forum, but thanks anyway. It was becoming very quiet on the last one. However, as the nights draw in perhaps people will want to talk again. In any case, I've been a bit busy myself recently as we've just had another foster kid join the family.

How many foster children do you have? What ages?

We have two girls at the moment aged 12 and 15.

I remember my girls from that age. Very sweet, but tough. All that need to grow, to be independent, to not need you. You're brave to deal with it. It can be hurtful. But to know that you're growing people to independent life - fulfilling but tough on you.

We have had quite a few foster kids over the years. There have been ups and downs but overall I like to think that we have made a difference. We tend to take long term foster kids. However, at some point they have to move on After that we tend to have a few short term placements. We have now reached the stage where we may have two long term ones (as I said previously, one has just joined us). It is most strange that the 15 year old looks more like the 12 year old and the 12 year old is a vegetarian .

One issue about fostering that concerns me is that I have come across some cases where kids have been 'labelled'. What that means is that kids in care have an unfavourable reputation which is carried forward through their lives. Whether these reputations are deserved is a matter of opinion. When I have been to training sessions for new carers I have always tried to emphasise that if you take kids into your home you should always treat them as you would if they were your own kids.

I know that it is not easy but the main thing is to keep an open mind. I have read reports of kids that sound as if they have really serious problems. However, after a while it becomes obvious that it is not the kids that are the problem

A close friend of mind has been a foster carer for years, as have her parents, and I've seen some of the trials and tribulations they've had to put up with. All credit to them and you, Andy, because I know I couldn't do it. It is unfair that these youngsters are labelled, but that's today's society for you - it's a lot easier to stick a label on something than actually deal with the root causes of the underlying problem.